Friday 27 May 2016

Saying No

Sometimes it is better to say No than it is to say Yes.  More often than not, it is also much harder to say No than to say Yes.  This isn't the simple No we are talking about.  It is the hard No.  It is the No  that forfeits the immediate gain.  It is the No that puts others first and yourself second.  This No does not seem convenient nor does it seem better, but this is only an illusion.  In reality, this No is liberating and full of is better than saying yes.  This is the No that we need to have the courage to say.

What can this No look like?  It can take its form in many places.  Saying No to a race that conflicts with a family event.  Saying No to a phone call during dinner.  Saying No to a lucrative job offer that will conflict with your family responsibilities.  You take a hit when you say No to these things.  You miss out on that race, you miss out on that phone call, you miss out on that job.

And why do you say No?  Has someone told you this is just the way it is and this is the decision that you must make?  Are you too lazy to contemplate these decisions and just default to saying No?  Saying No with either of these mindsets forfeits all the benefit of saying No in the first place.  You must know why you are saying No.  I will say No to the race because this is an important family event and racing would become a self centered logistical nightmare.  I will say No to picking up the phone during dinner because I value the time to develop true authentic relationships.  I will say No to the lucrative job offer, because time with my family is more important than money.

The important thing to realize is that you are saying No to something good.  The race is good, the phone call is good, the job is good.  But the thing with something good is that it is only something good.  Something good is not the best.  Choosing to settle with good will tie you up so when something truly amazing comes along, you won't have the freedom to say Yes.

Good is good, but it is not the best.  Saying No to the good (and knowing why) puts you at an immediate loss, but in time, something better will come along...something better than the original.

Sometimes you must say the hard No to the good to leave yourself open for the best.



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